Might as well as cheating !

Yes i am a jerk for running through every of her mail without letting her know. but i just cannot stop doing so looking at all the mail again and again. all the thorough question about him, sometimes i think she know more about him than she does on me. all i could do is to lit my cigarette.

Guess i am just a necessity, getting used to having me, do she really care bout me more than she does on him???? hahaha. big question mark. tears could run in my eyes when i realised it. but what else can i do???

i just don understand. why can't i own the whole heart of her, why do i have to share her heart???? by being a member of LSI, i know i could win any girl's heart with just a small trick that i have learn. i could pick any girl that interest me. but i just can't totally win her heart. am i a loser???? guess i am. no matter how hard i try.

why don i just be a jerk ????? guess he is always more impressive. no matter how many people think how smart i am. i am still a loser.

and mind you. i enjoy being one. just can't find the reason behind for being one.

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