loser, double loser !

Have started to lost my purpose of living, i have fucked up my exam, 3 month of preparation went down the drain because i break down on the middle of my contract paper.

i give up my contract paper, cannot continue to write, i was so freaked out in the exam hall. i cannot stand the pressure anymore, i have to run away from the hall before i gone mad, so basically that is what i do. i just cannot continue.
well this is my turning point. i really don know whether i should repeat my law courses.

i have lost hope, passion and the most important my respect toward the job as lawyer.
can i still take law???????

wondering am i smart enough to handle this courses, or i am just a loser due to surrounding circumstances, just like the malaysia's government a loser who fail to combat the increase of price of fuel due to surrounding circumstances. i guess Pak Lah is as miserable as i do. because sometimes things just get out of our control and you just don know the best way to handle it without causing collateral damage.

i think i really need a break, i just haven recover from the miserable feeling, i just feel that its hard to breath sometimes, trying hard to keep myself busy. people say when you are busy you just won have the time to worry. so busy is my way out for now. until i can figure everything out and make a decision.

sorry to everyone who have put such high hope and faith on me. i have let you people down. i cannot answer to myself for the things neither.

For that guy who i have whacked, sorry, i do not mean to harm you, but you shouldn't challenge me on the first place. cause i won be hestitating to fight if i have to .